peacefullove

Sit in Silence February 2, 2009

Good morning friends…I have not blogged in some time…..Well I wanted to share with you ..yesterday at church my husband took me out of my comfort zone and had us sit in a different section of the church….and it was really rough for me at first …we sat in a section where our college students all sit together so I felt weird and told him we should move up one row because I didn’t want to break up their group…so then we were in the rows where our members that are deaf sit….and I love to watch the person that leads them with sign language……altho again I just felt sorta like I was not in the right area …like we were taking up a spot where someone else needed to sit    and I would have gotten up and given them that seat if that were the case….but as my husband pointed out to me ” how can anywhere in church be the wrong seat”…..so as the music played I was just praising God and loving the sounds of the guitars and everyone singing and watching the lady lead in sign language and then it hit me….how “blessed” I was that I could hear those sounds and wondered how it was for the woman in front of me who could not hear?…I felt kinda sad for what she may be missing…..BUT then our worship leader asked us to take a moment of silence and reflect on what the cross has done for us..what God has done for us……and the silence was the most beautiful sound I ever heard……I mean I think there is always noise around me…with children ( boys ) like saturday night we had a birthday party for our son Josh and then 2 of his friends spent the night…WOW..!..my husband retreated upstairs but I stayed and tried to study for my EMS class….then in my job in the ER all the ill patients and monitors going off and people talking on the radios we carry ..then when I volunteer on the  ambulance the sirens….NOISE NOISE NOISE…..( even at bedtime I have a fan on cuz the quiet is just too weird for me ) so needless to say when we sat there in silence I just loved it and have decided to each day try that ……I usually pray out loud to make sure I understand what I am saying to God makes sense…:) lol I know that sounds funny…but I think I will try having silence then quiet prayer……….I have a ceramic plaque thing that sits in my kitchen and it reads… “make time for quiet moments as God whispers and the world is loud”…..how true is that…. Thank you God for allowing me to hear your word and the songs we sing for you but also for the moments of silence…..

Whats up..? July 2, 2008

Hi friends…..saw a new quote today and wanted to share it with you……LIFE IS MY JOURNEY,GOD MY GUIDE, AND FAITH MY COMPANION…….each of us is a thread in another person’s tapestry, our lives are woven together for a reason………

I would like to ask a favor our Danny has a hernia and has to have surgery next tuesday…..altho I have complete faith in God and then the Doctor……I have to say that I am still a little scared and it is going to be well it already is emotional….the tears have fallen……I just hate for him to go through any more than he already has in his 15 years……I want to be strong and couragous……

OK well as long as your praying for Dan send one up for Josh too…all next week he will be away at a church camp….it will be his first time away from us for that long…….I know he’ll learn alot and have tons of fun…I just pray for him to be safe and that he’ll remember to brush his teeth everyday and wash under his arms WITH soap…:)…….                                                     Bye for now, heading out to the pool….

Praise you in this storm May 7, 2008

Well I had a get together today with some friends altho we were doing gardening which is not on my top 10 list of favorite things to do…we had a nice talk ….and caught up on new stuff going on in our lives…….I talked with one of the gals when I first got to her home ( I was the first to arrive ) and we discussed some of my struggles with church……God…….just the changes of activities that there once were at the church and/or that I used to be involved in and different friends that are not there………and she reminded me that sometimes God pulls things or people a little away from us so that we can focus more on him……so maybe that has been my problem……prior to going to this get together I was at the gym and I had on my ipod and the song Praise you in the storm was on…..and the words hit me….it was like one of those HELLO moments….

I was sure by now,God,that you would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again,I say amen

and it’s still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

“I’m with you”

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

Well time to make some speggetti…..thanks for listening….!

Heavy,Heavy,Heavy my heart is heavy Lord May 6, 2008

Well,I am not sure what is wrong with me but I seem to be sad these last few weeks……and I just got back from a wonderful fun vacation in Walt Disney Florida………I can’t put my finger on it….there are some tough things at church………….friends who were there and now are not…….I miss them……..I question certain things and I worry and I get a little angry sometimes and I have to REALLY refocus myself and try to not doubt where or why God is having me go down this path …….but it is extremely tough………….!!!!…..What am I to learn from this ?……..I am struggling with mom things like am I doing a good job as a mom…am I helping my son to become a caring,sweet responsible son….who appreciates the blessings that God gives us……..I wish that he had a closer relationship with our older son …….but fear that he does not because of Danny having special needs…….oooohhhh do I sound pathetic or what MAYBE I just need a good cry and get over it all…….Im not sure why sometimes I am so positive and upbeat and can conquer anything and why times like now I feel like I am empty……..could it be my love tank or whatever is depleted and it needs to be filled…….not really sure…..please pray  for me ……..I know sometimes we need to stay in tough spots to make us stronger…….but I hope that I can learn what I need to from all this somewhat soon cause to be honest i don’t like feeling weak,and sad….as you know usually I am happy and bubbly and full of laughter…well thats all for now………….bye..!

My New Job April 9, 2008

I have switched from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to the Emergency Room and I am loving it…My position is called Guest Relations Associate…..(people joke and call us Walmart Greeter)….basically I welcome the patients and their family member or friend that is with them….I help them get signed in and sorta evaluate their needs and depending on how bad they are I get them into the Triage Nurse as quickly as possible….then I try to keep them informed about how much longer their wait may be…I offer the family/friend coffee or ice water.( not the patient because they need to remain fasting till the doctor evaluates them.) I sometimes after the 3-11 triage assistant goes home ( cause I am there till 2am ) will do vitals on the patient and take the expecting moms that come into the ER in labor up to the Labor and Delivery floor…I check on the patients in the back to make sure they are comfortable…offer them another blanket or pillow…and the best part is I get to sit and talk and listen to soooo many different people…..some are lots of fun…some are smart and inspiring some are grouchy and sad some are hurting and lonely…and I am given the chance to hopefully touch their life in some little way…….I am so grateful to be in a job that I feel I can make a difference…..well thats all for now….

And then there was peace February 12, 2008

Hello friends…..is spring coming soon…..?? I sooo look forward to green grass and warmer weather….I’m not trying to rush my life away but this cold is well COLD…….you know what I’m sayin……well life has been  going pretty good….I am taking a class at church that is really helping me ……I’m not sure if any of you have ever felt this way but sometimes I just feel like the devil is sitting on my shoulder screaming into my ear go this path…..say this unthoughtful word ….disconnect yourself from this person…don’t hear the word of God…..he would costantly say his path was easier and more fun…….I know it may sound strange…..but its true……so to push him away I am daily reading my bible and any books that bring me closer to understanding the REAL truth and forming a stronger relationship with him ( our heavenly father )…….and since being in Cross Current I have been able to get past some tough memories of my childhood…( the neglect,rejection,and abuse )…..and now I can say that I think the little red monster with the horns has left the area ( my shoulder next to my ear ) and I am reaching toward the sweet sound of Jesus…….and the peace throughout me feels nice…..calm…quiet…..I love that…..and ask that you pray along with me that this sticks with me forever……I don’t want to turn back……I am soooo done with all the anger and fear and feelings of unworthiness….!!!!…..I want to be strong and filled with courage to do the right things that will GLORIFY God..!

Bucket List January 14, 2008

Good movie..gotta see it……My husband and I had a date night the other night..we hadn’t planned on it since our car has needed a couple of repairs and christmas just passing,however Josh had movie night at school and his friend wanted him to go with him and his family and then have a sleepover…..So Jim and I went to Panera Bread…we enjoyed french onion soup in a bread bowl…yum yum..!! After we went to see Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson in the movie Bucket List……funny….sad…..and a movie that makes you think….At one point they’re up in the sky in a plane and the one character says “I’ve never been able to put my head around faith and the other guy says maybe that is what is getting in the way…….( he was using his head and not his heart )…….WOW HUH?…..that is sooo true for me sometimes I think and think and question and question and sadly sometimes doubt instead of just trusting and loving and following my heart knowing what is  real and true ….!!….So I think I’ll start my bucket list..( the list of things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket )……..I’ve already done most of everything in life that I think would be on that list…..make my parents proud,find Mr.Wonderful,get married,have children,know God better and have a relationship with him,make true lasting friendships…ones that are there with you through the good and bad times…have a talent or spiritual gift to glorify God ( my dramas that I’ve been in at church).been with my loverdover 15 years and got to go on a Bahama Cruise ……lead someone to christ…….been water jet skiing…….flown in a plane….YET TO DO…….I THINK I WILL HAVE TO ADD SWIM WITH A DOLPHIN AND MAYBE PARASAILING………OK thats it for now……thanks for reading..!P.S I’d love for Joshua to accept God into his heart and have him at the center of everything he does…!

Stuck Home December 5, 2007

Hi friends……well yesterday we had a snow day and the kids were excited….Josh got up at 6am to help his dad shovel and he tried the snowblower machine….it was my neice Victoria’s 6th birthday….she was happy that she had no school and could play in the snow……it’s weird how we change as we grow old…I look outside and say BbbRrrrrrrrr………and the kids rush to put on there snow suits so that they can simply run out in the middle of it and fall down and just lay there making snow angels and catching frosty cold snowflakes on there tongue……of course they love it that when they come in I have hot cocoa waiting for them………Our car is not feeling well so we took it to the shop monday night……here I sit on wednesday and I am stuck here cause they are not done fixing it yet……but being stuck home is not a bad thing….yesterday I cleaned and got out some more of our Christmas decorations..( the tree we will get this weekend )…did  some laundry and today I am sitting and reading some blogs from other friends and my next thing I plan to do is start my christmas cards……December seems to be a busy time full of wonderful activities for us….and get togethers with friends…..we have our small group coming to our home next tuesday for chicken wing night… there is a day set up or more like 2 or 3 to make yummy cookies…..play practice and the play on the 23rd and 24rh and at the end of the month we plan to go snow tubing………Fun…Fun… Fun……..for these quiet days to rest up for all these things to come is a beautiful thing………a new ceramic like picture thing I just bought on black friday at Khols reads ” MAKE TIME FOR THE QUIET MOMENTS AS GOD WHISPERS AND THE WORLD IS LOUD….!! Thats all for now stay warm…!!

Oooppps I took the wrong pill November 20, 2007

Hi there friends…..well I have shared this story with some friends but thought I would share it here…..2 sundays ago it was our turn for tech team..( my husband and I )..we have to be up at 6am to church at 7am…..It was my job this week to run the video camara I sorta practiced during 1st service and really did it during 2nd service sinse there were people in the overflow room. So by the time 2nd service was finished I was sorta tired and my back was screaming at me ( In the last couple of months I found out I have arthritis and chronic degenerative disc disease in my L4 and L5) so I also stayed after for christmas play practice ……so it was sorta a full day but a great day …I got home took out a Alieve and at the same time Danny came home it was almost 3pm so he needed his Seroquel 300mg…….I got it out……and an hour later realized that I never gave it to him …..we looked all over and never found it..He would not have taken it without applesause if he found it….so that night I walked into church for a town meeting and my old cell leader said to me,”Leslie are you ok?” I said yeah I am just tired and my back is achy…..The next day ALL DAY…I was falling asleep everytime I sat down……which was not good cause Danny was home and needs my FULL attention or he gets into cheese pringles or other foods..( we should just get locks on the pantry)…so then it hit me I MUST have taken his Seroquel pill …….WOW and the boy takes it 3x a day ………..This past weekend I was much more careful !!!!!! ……Wishing all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and asking that you keep me in prayer I come from a family of 3 and growing up things were quiet…….now being married I have a big family Jims sister is coming in town thursday with her 2kids and husband and they will stay with us till sunday.. at dinner we will have about 17 I think….I am know I am blessed and I love them each but sometimes the noise and business just overwhelms me and I either get stomach upsets or agitated and grumpy …I pray for a cheeful heart and attitude…..I am so thankful for my sweet husband and preciuos sons…..I will miss my mom this Thanksgiving as she is away at the beach……Gobble Gobble to ya..!!

Taste and See October 28, 2007

Well as I write to you I’m watching my son help my husband make butterscotch oatmeal cookies….I love watching them together….so does our older son..he is sitting on the table and supervising it all…..I just wonder ( since he does not talk )..sometimes ..what he is thinking…..and what he would say if he could speak…..sooooo WOW…!!!! Life has been sorta busy……this past week my husband has been putting in a new tile kitchen floor……it looks so beautiful and finally the fridge and stove are not in the middle of our dinning room floor…..after day 2 that and the dust and mess and tools all over were driving me nutty…….but it was all worth it..!!.I am so blessed to have a talented handyman husband..!!.So lets see what else can I share…………….well our small group is going great…!!! Bible study at church tuesday mornings is going pretty good….We are reading Changes That Heal…..it is good…but some of it is hard…..we are discussing boundaries……and relationships……both pretty deep topics…….why we lack each…why we need each……and sometimes even if I’m in a lonely spot…to be honest it just seems easier….but I am learning the importance of pushing through and not giving up on relationships……….SOOOO what else….uuumm the gym thing is going ok….I am working a little more so have not made it there as much as I should……but I feel good when I go…..Oh, my son joined cub scouts…and he really likes going to his meetings…and looks forward to his first camping trip in November…..Last night I was a monitor at his school because they had a spooky spectacular party……whoa that was interesting it was for all the 4th and 5th graders…..Well I guess I will end it’s time for a glass of skim milk and a pile of yummy cookies..!!:)……..A note from my hugs book..to brighten your day..Experience My abundant life..!! I’m continuing to work behind the scenes on your behalf, and I love to far exceed your expectations and dreams. Taste and see My goodness in your life…Blessing you, Your God of Wonder…….P.S.speaking of scenes I tried out for a part in our Christmas Drama and made it…I will be the Innkeeper who greets Mary and Joseph on Christmas eve night at our church……..