peacefullove

Heavy,Heavy,Heavy my heart is heavy Lord May 6, 2008

Well,I am not sure what is wrong with me but I seem to be sad these last few weeks……and I just got back from a wonderful fun vacation in Walt Disney Florida………I can’t put my finger on it….there are some tough things at church………….friends who were there and now are not…….I miss them……..I question certain things and I worry and I get a little angry sometimes and I have to REALLY refocus myself and try to not doubt where or why God is having me go down this path …….but it is extremely tough………….!!!!…..What am I to learn from this ?……..I am struggling with mom things like am I doing a good job as a mom…am I helping my son to become a caring,sweet responsible son….who appreciates the blessings that God gives us……..I wish that he had a closer relationship with our older son …….but fear that he does not because of Danny having special needs…….oooohhhh do I sound pathetic or what MAYBE I just need a good cry and get over it all…….Im not sure why sometimes I am so positive and upbeat and can conquer anything and why times like now I feel like I am empty……..could it be my love tank or whatever is depleted and it needs to be filled…….not really sure…..please pray  for me ……..I know sometimes we need to stay in tough spots to make us stronger…….but I hope that I can learn what I need to from all this somewhat soon cause to be honest i don’t like feeling weak,and sad….as you know usually I am happy and bubbly and full of laughter…well thats all for now………….bye..!